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I have to tell you something…you might not like it…

If you read this blog, then you probably already know that I have a corresponding Facebook Page.

What you may not know is that my What’s Eating You? page is very different from my Facebook profile page. On my profile page it’s all me, no holds barred…warts and all. On my What’s Eating You? page, I feel that you get the best of me. Or at least, the best I can offer. Not to be all airy fairy about it, but I try to be/act out of my highest self on that page…

Somehow, though, I started thinking that the number of people who “liked” my page meant that I really am likable. Like the more likes I got, the more I started to feel like it all somehow matters. Like it means you like me, you really really like me! 😛

Today I had the thought that it really doesn’t matter. That I don’t need to worry about that number because it isn’t going to get me to my health goals any sooner…it’s not like that number corresponds to the number on the scale (the more people who like my page, the more weight I’ll lose).

And, I realized today that I have become very careful about what I say on my page because, I guess, I thought people might unlike me! Gasp.

Then I thought, if the whole reason I’m putting myself out there is to create community…to create a community of women (and men!) who are committed to getting healthy or maintaining their health in a very real, very sustainable, very sane, way…then I need to be real and not be afraid to show who I am. That I must share my journey without any kind of censorship or subterfuge on my part.

So, just in case I haven’t told you…

  1. I’m gay. Yeah, I’m a lesbian and so is my wife. We had a ceremony, in front of our friends, family, and co-workers, and made a commitment to be kind, caring, supportive, and loving towards each other, and only each other, until we are parted. It means nothing, legally. It means everything, spiritually.
  2. I curse. A lot. Like, Osborn levels of cursing. Though, weirdly enough, when I was a teacher, I didn’t curse at all. My students cursed more than I…they scandalized me with their cursing.
  3. I am not Christian. Some of my best friends are Christian. I love all Spiritual people. (see my Wild Spirituality page for more about this).
  4. I am very political. But I am strategically political. I won’t get into politics on my What’s Eating You? page or probably even this blog because I don’t feel that either is an appropriate venue for that kind of discussion.
  5. I am not vegan. I’m not even vegetarian. Though, I often eat vegan and/or vegetarian meals, I am still an omnivore.
  6. I am still fat. No matter what I’ve done in the past two (almost three!) years, I still weigh about the same. I am beyond frustrated about this. And I am so mad at myself for this. I almost didn’t type those words because I feel like such a failure.
  7. I don’t always practice what I preach. Mostly, I try…I try to stay on the path to my goals. I try to rally and get it right. I keep walking up that mountain…