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New year, new you? New Year, new me?

copyright 2012 Kim DavisFor some reason, this year, all the diet commercials and detoxes are on my nerves.

I didn’t make any formal resolutions this year…I think this is the first time I’ve done that.

But I do have some aspirations – and on the face of it, they look very much like the resolutions I’ve made in years past.

Things have not been going well for me, physically and probably emotionally too. I have been, very definitely, going through a weird bout of depression. It occurred to me, the other day, as I was going through another crying jag, that maybe I need some hormones or something. I haven’t had a period for a few months so I am fairly certain that menopausal shenanigans are afoot.

I really want to deal with my stress this year. I want to do that by embracing a very consistent meditation and yoga practice. I just want to give it a whole year…I want to practice at it and get it really ingrained into my lifestyle.

I plan to get some weekly cardio into my life as well. Cathy told me the other day that when I am exercising like that I’m a whole different person – more confident, more vibrant – that I sing when I’m in the kitchen and talk to our pets more. (sounds crazy, right?!)

I want to get on a very good supplement regimen – a good daily vitamin, some fish oil, and a probiotic. I know I feel better when taking these.

I want to eat a cleaner diet. I have been focused on organic and local and am so happy that I’ve made that change but, I feel, that I could be more consistent on eating a balanced, clean diet. I used to feel pretty good about eating clean 80% of the time but, quite frankly, that’s why I am not releasing this extra weight.

For the past 6 years I have been very good at maintaining my weight (unfortunately, that’s about 40 pounds higher than where I should be). I know it’s a huge mix of things: not getting in enough activity, eating and drinking more than I should on the weekends with the occasional week of just eating crap, peri-menopausal hormone BS, and stress. The perfect storm of lasting weight gain. 🙂

But, I don’t really want to focus on weight this year. I am so effing sick of this diet mentality. I have been in the trenches of that battle for, god, 35 years. I just can’t take it anymore. I mourn for my youth. But I want to be FANTASTIC at 48. I want to get my mojo back and quit mooning about because of these extra 40 pounds – I’m just not getting anywhere with that kind of thinking.

So this year is my attempt to deal with it in a different way – I mean, not so different – I’ve been doing a lot of this stuff for years but to hold a different perspective of who I am and not buy into the idea that I’m just a fat, middle-aged lady…that perhaps, I am something else…something more.

This year? I’m getting my mojo back!