In my last post, I vowed to let go of my attachment to a weight loss outcome. I said I was going to stop obsessively plotting to lose weight and would, instead, concentrate my efforts on just eating clean, whole foods that are capable of nourishing and healing my body. I said that I would spend my energy on moving by stretching and walking/running…that’s where I need to put my energy and thoughts.
Moving to this kind thinking is actually revolutionary for me.
I think that attachment to weight loss is about my obsessive need for approval. And the more I chase after approval, the more controlling I become and the more attached I feel to the idea that I must lose weight. And all of that is just getting in my own way…it’s how I sabotage myself.
So how to break free from that cycle?
I’m not going to sugar coat it…this is hard. Because there’s that niggling voice that says, “if you do this right, you’ll lose weight.”
But meditation is teaching me that that voice – that “you’ll lose weight!” thought – is still my brain clinging to my obsessive need for approval.
It turns out that I have thousands of thoughts a day that feed into that obsession.
All of this reminds me of the little parable that’s winding its way through the Facebook – the Cherokee parable called Two Wolves:
An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life…
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
“One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
“The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
“This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old chief simply replied,
“The one you feed.”
Yeah, you try to stop feeding one wolf, while nurturing the other! It ain’t easy! 🙂
This weekend, to nurture the good wolf, I’ll eat clean and move around and try not to think, “this is going to make me lose weight!” 😉