Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds. You mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat, and maybe it’s been raining too long. You’re just sad, that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid, and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Last year, for me, was definitely fraught with the mean reds. Sometimes, I think, I just make up shit to be afraid of. And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And then that snowballs into the mean reds. While I was able to make a few changes for the better – last year was still not my favorite. I hate that because I think that I should be filled with gratitude, love, empathy, and peace at every moment. I mean, we all should…right?! Maybe that’s what enlightenment is.
At any rate, I’m looking forward to 2013. This is a first, in a long time, for me. I am feeling the promise of new beginnings and fresh starts. There are things that I want to do – I made a kind of list, re: a vision board…to harness the power of unconscious desire and will. It’s something to give me focus and to remind me of what I really want to be doing. Something elseI’ve been thinking about is to theme my new year – using a word or two to evoke a mantra of sorts.
I think I’ve settled on “get organized” with the caveat that I can change it at any time. 🙂
I’ve been haunting the interwebs…stalking organization websites and finding some great resources. I’ve found a couple of good books on the subject and even picked up the new Real Simple – their January 2013 mag is titled, “A Year of Organized Living: life skills, strategies, and advice to make every day easier”.
I’m going to attempt to organize my life to make every day easier – to get closer to thinking of each day as my favorite. Because, not to over state the obvious, but – life really is too short and too precious to live it with the mean reds.
In Happier at Home, Gretchen Rubin has perfectly captured the feeling of the mean reds – the ‘why’ of my year. This passage resonated so strongly with me – it’s so spot on…I had to share. She writes, “I was tired of the persistent dissatisfaction of the shelf-by-shelf exercise. Nothing stayed done: I cleared a shelf, and a few weeks later, it was covered with another mess. I replaced one lightbulb, then another blub burned out. I resented having to get my hair cut again.
Even worse than these repeated, dreary tasks were my faults, which never seemed to improve. I made the same resolutions, month after month, and I kept backsliding on some of the most important ones, over and over. I was weary of myself – my broken promises to do better, my small-minded grudges, my wearisome fears, my narrow preoccupations.”
Yeah, I’m sick of it all too. But more than I’m sick of all that – I am convinced that I can make positive changes. Little by little things can get better.
My resolutions are more than just a list of the mundane – I can’t narrow it down to something like, “lose 30 pounds, exercise X per week, be perfect at work, write more blog posts…” – because, I’m really beginning to understand that that list is just a means to an end. It’s really more about crafting a life that is fulfilling most of the time.
I think I can get there – or, at least, closer to there by getting organized. I’m going to give it a shot – so meet me back here, a year from now and let’s see where we’ve both ended up.